le dix mai

The emotions come out in words. I'm not a crier, not a screamer, I'm not even a cynic! Instead it all comes out in the words. I think of quirky jargon to put in statuses, blogspot whitespots, and even miniature notebook lines. It's what I do to cope, to voice out, and I guess I lied-- even sometimes to be a cynic. It's the deeply intimate process of placing all the pieces on the deck and sorting them to a level of make-sensery (excuse me, I'm just making up words). It's where I get to talk and not be interrupted (even by myself)! so where do you start when the canvas is absolutely fresh and the words have been picking at you since dawn? Well, you start wherever the fuck you want to start. Sometimes I feel like I have some gregarious alter-ego. The saucy Rita, if you will to my timid Lee-Lee. The ask what you will and be prepared for the devilish answer kind of girl. You know as Dr. Jekyll as it sounds, sometimes I think it's almost crucial. As feeble human creatures, we find about 80% of our time being too scared to step out of our "Lee-Lee" zone. We live cautiously and instead of delving into the deep rich treasures of life that are obviously sometimes problematic, we play it safe and bury our heads into what feels like home base. You shush away the urges and gorgeous creatures who beckon you. Lock that saucy temptress up and remember there is work to be done in dreaming. You remember aspirations and dreams and feel damned that you let someone withhold them from that journey progress. You almost make yourself angry about it! You curse your Rita with her lace panties and those damn sexual organs for thumping in the night. How dare you let yourself get off track!? well let's face it: it happens. And why not embrace it when it does? The kisses were sweet and the warm body soothing in the lullaby of nightly furtherism. Hell, even the "empty carb" beer was delectable! Should we not indulge in the Rita? Nourish her and let her exercise her sometimes healthy habits and needs? Because as cliche as it sounds--sometimes being "bad" feels so good...

So Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the introduction of my Rita. The 20% of me that isn't scared to state likes, dislikes, and even wishes. Who dresses to impress and frankly, dresses to undress. She is healthy, disease-free, and feels good to bring out once awhile. You have to keep people on their toes. To keep people believing their is more to someone at times then they show. More then writing, hand-crafting, and working out. More than timidness and girl-next-door sweetness.