rest my our chemistry

Mondays are the best days and with age they just get better. While technically Sunday is the start of a new week I've always seen Monday as my clean slate. The chance to start new; to change an attitude, start a plan, or just renew myself in gratitude. This Lundi brings us the celebration of Saint Valentine. While I have no Valentine I don't cower in anger for those who wish to celebrate in love on this day. I'd like to choose to celebrate love everyday...or sadness...or anger...or whatever emotion my hormones decide to give me that day. Today, however, my heart is packed to the brim. I remember this feeling, driving down the non-coastal 5 and feeling the reds,greens, and yellows swirl around in the tank of my chest.

Some people don't understand the power of words and what they can do to a person. I don't understand how people can read the words that form from my fingertips and feel emotion (hopefully that disappears with age to). Mondays are now even more special and higher on my favorite list because I get to see one of my favorite beings. Packed away with a notebook and pen, I greeted him with a bag full of treats. This was followed after a joking, "Did you bring me a Valentine?" Which I smiled and said, "Yes." I don't do things for responses and so the fact that I didn't get anything in return didn't bother me. As much as I love the words and the art of experimenting with them and their meaning, there isn't a chance that they could be equable to this emotion. Honestly, I wish I could open the cages of my chest and just show you for yourself. In my mind an old silent film movie montage of love scenes would be playing and birds would be fluttering around.

I'd like to sit here and write down every experience I have with him, but damn wouldn't that be redundant and boring? The point I'm trying to make is: do some people know what they do? Kissing your fingers, sealing it in a mock envelope, and sending it my way is suppose to evoke some emotion right? Leigh of the past would obsess over this instance and right now I just look at in absolute gratitude. I look at this person in absolute love. It is what it is and I'm just happy to be apart of it. Is anything of this making sense? It's okay just bear with me a little bit.

Tonight, I will go to work with the very handsome Greg Garcia and he will go to the movies with a creature whose caught his eye. I don't feel the urge to shut down, the will to doubt myself, instead I keep my faith. My faith in love, my faith in people, and my faith in myself. I don't want to sound like a girl and her psycho-babble bullshit. I have a shelf full of books exploring and trying to understand the emotion I have right now. I have no idea what this is but I'm going with the fact that I feel it.

Because there is something about someone hand-writing you a Valentine that starts off with the line, I think of Leigh as a part of me..." that tells you to take the risk.

Something about that that gives you everything.